I’ve been a fan of Vanessa Carlton‘s since I heard her first single, A Thousand Miles, so many years ago. I eagerly purchased her album Be Not Nobody and listened to it. Though I enjoyed it, it wasn’t my favorite by far. I listened to it a couple times then put it aside. I loved her voice, and knew I’d be a forever fan because of that, but the songs on that album didn’t speak to me.
True to my knowledge, I bought her second album, Harmonium, the week it was released. I fell in love with that album. I played it nonstop. White Houses became one of my favorite songs, along with Annie, and Half A Week Before The Winter. It played in my car everywhere I went. I kept headphones in while I did any shopping or writing I did. It became my life’s sound track.
The same thing happened when Heroes and Thieves was released. That, to this day, is my favorite album of hers. It’s so beautiful, so honest, and so the music clear as crystal. It’s so beautifull written and done, and the songs play in my head time and time again. Nolita Fairytale became my theme song and one of the songs I most related to that I’ve ever heard. I moved from Indiana to New Jersey years after the songs release, but the lyrics are so true for me. “I found some kind of fairy tale…” That’s how I feel in my life here. I’m living with a guy I love more than anything, am working with animals (which was a lifelong dream of mine), am chasing my other lifelong dream of being a writer, have begun exploring my other creative passion–photography, and am growing my own side business of dogwalking and petsitting. In many ways, I found my fairy tale.
Jump to her next album (Rabbits On The Run, my second favorite of her albums) and she’s speaking to me in so many other ways. Carousel mentions owls and spells–two things repeatedly in my life (I’m a witch who got her first “induction” to Paganism via Athena–a goddess closely associated with owls). Hear The Bells became one of the songs I listened to on repeat both because I loved it’s haunting melody, and because it was the perfect background music to play as I worked on a Halloween themed story shortly after it’s release.
When I started writing this post I had no intention of going through a history of Vanessa’s influence on my life, I only meant to say this:
I’ve been suffering from a migraine all day. I’ve been miserable because of it. Emotionally low, physically had no energy, and just all around blue because I had so much I wanted and needed to do today and as the day went on it was increasingly obvious that none of it was going to get done. But we needed bread, and so I had to wash some dishes from the breakfast my boyfriend had made. So I forced myself to get up and do something. I got the bread going (we make all of our own bread) with Angelo’s help, and then turned on some music–namely Vanessa’s latest release, Liberman–while I did the dishes. Angelo brewed me some coffee while all of this was happening, and then sat down to play the final episode of Life Is Strange (which I’m also going to play shortly).
It wasn’t until I sat down on the couch in front of my laptop with Liberman playing, the lights off, and a candle lit while I sip my coffee that I started feeling better. I”m glad to have accomplished something today, but it’s really sitting here in the dark with the soothing light of a candle and beautiful music playing that I’m able to relax and find a bit of peace today.