So, back around my birthday I’d mentioned that a lot had happened in the span of a day or two. It was mainly a reconnection that happened. About five years ago the goddess Brigid started coming to me in various ways. I’m not going to go into all the ways, or every path She led me down, but I will say that She taught me a lot and changed me more than anyone else ever had. Up until I made the move to New Jersey my life revolved around Her and Odin–every single thing I did in my life was in service and honor to Them. After a year or so of working with Brigid I became a Flamekeeper. Once every 19 days I would keep a flame burning for Her all night and all day. There is so much more to being a flamekeeper than that, and that deserves it’s own post all by itself (maybe I’ll make one sometime!), but that’s the very barebones of what flamekeeping entails.
However, everything changed when I moved. I knew the move would be a hugely life altering one. But I didn’t know it would make me lose connection to my gods for years. I felt like Odin and Brigid had left me. I thought maybe it was something about the city life or land here that They simply didn’t like. I thought maybe I’d made some horribly wrong choice in my life and They were punishing me for it by leaving.
I stopped tending Brigid’s flame. I stopped reading Runes. I stopped everything. I even stopped writing for a long time thinking “what’s the point?”. Writing was always a sacred thing to me, and if my gods weren’t there or didn’t want anything to do with me anymore….why write? (The answer to that, of course, is because I must. I simply don’t know how to be otherwise.) It took a long time before Odin would come back to me, but He eventually did. I thought Brigid was gone for good, though. I hadn’t seen any sign or whisper or anything to hint that She was near or watching.
Then, like a sudden flame in the darkest of nights She came blazing back. In the span of 2-3 days I got a dozen signs that She was there again. Not the least of which was the feeling that was ignited inside me. I started tending Her flame again. I got a three wick candle for Yule and have developed the habit of lighting each wick (one for the Poet, one for the Healer, and one for the Smith) and letting it burn for about a half an hour every night as I ask Her to bless my house. Just doing that simple ritual each day is the most precious thing. It leaves me feeling calm and peaceful (and the candle makes my house smell absolutely divine~ <3).
I’m working on developing a proper ritual for each flame tending session I had. I had sort of developed one years ago, but being that I’m in a completely didn’t place in my life and have changed so much as a person I don’t really want to go back and use that anymore. I want to start fresh, with something new.
I hope you all had a blessed Yule (Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hannukah, whatever you celebrate). ❤