Through The Darkness, Into The Light

I have been so sick recently. Fine one day, and then last Wednesday both I and my best friend got hit hard with the cold that’s been going around. It knocked us both off our feet and caused us both to call out of work, even though neither of us ever call out. The following days saw me sweating, freezing, sneezing, and coughing more times than I could count. There were times when I was delirious, even–Angelo bent down to hug me as I lay in bed and though my mind registered what was happening, it felt like I was a spectator watching him bend down and hug me. It was weird. That was probably the peak time of my fever and the night I felt the worst. It would be another two days before I’d notice any marked improvement, but I thankfully never got worse than that.

Typing the beginning of that paragraph made me realize it’s only been one week since the sickness hit. It feels like it’s been much longer.

In some weird way I feel like I’ve gone through some weird transformation–like I’m somehow different. I keep getting this image in my head of going through a long, incredibly dark tunnel and emerging on the other side. That’s what this feels like. I feel like I was hibernating. Or in a coccoon. I can’t say I’ve gone through some weird superhero transformation and I’m now all of the sudden Super Raven. But I do feel very different. For a brief moment I even forgot what month it was and the things I was trying to do this month simply because I was a little disoriented after being so sick. The only thing I’d been able to focus on was getting better, and everything else had to fall to the wayside. I stopped doing my daily Tarot card, and all forms of writing were put on hold. I wasn’t even able to do anything for NNF (most of which, with the exception of recording, I can do from my phone and therefore my bed).

26326742442_26eacc6e39_zTo say that I’m glad to be feeling better is a massive understatement. I hate being sick. Normally I try to at least write when sick, or at the very least read a book. I couldn’t do either this time. The sucky thing is, I think part of why I got sick (for the second time inside a month) was going vegetarian. I used to be veg and usually feel amazing when veg. But that’s when I pay close attention to what I’m eating, how much protein I’m getting, and making sure I get all the nutrients I need. This time I haven’t been doing that. I’ve barely been paying attention to anything health wise–I’ve just been avoiding meat. And while that will make you a vegetarian, it won’t make you a healthy one. When you don’t get the nutrients you need, your immune system doesn’t work optimally and that can lead to sickness. Which I think is what happened. I very rarely get sick (and never get this sick!), so for me to be sick twice in one month was something I really needed to pay attention to. While sick I allowed myself to eat some meals with meat in them…only to help get my nutrient level where it needed to be. However, now that I’m feeling better I’m going back to being vegetarian. Though this time I’m paying way more attention to my nutrient intake and especially my protein! Today I ate pretty healthy–hummus sandwich on pita bread for lunch with a side of buttered peas, slice of pizza for dinner wasn’t the best but it satisfied a craving, and now as I type this I’m eating some delicious grapes! I’ve been drinking a ton of Gatorade, too, as well as water so I know I’m well hydrated for once. (I’ve never been a big water drinker, but it’s an ongoing goal that I’m working on to drink more. Having a water bottle that I love really seems to help though!)

Tomorrow I’m actually off from my dayjob, and the only thing I have to do work wise is

26393130356_09dfeb851a_z

Colby, or the Cobbler (as me and my best friend call her), acting silly. Photo taken by her human and shared with permission ā¤

feed my other best friend’s cat, Colby. So, I’m going to get back into doing my Daily Tarot, and hopefully start back in the poetry writing. Tonight I managed to do a little work on my Selkie story and I’ve set myself a kind of secret goal with it–a potential release date, though I don’t want to talk too much more about it until I can figure out for sure if it’s something I can actually do. I, crazily enough, still think I can pull off 31 poems by the end of April even though I’m severely behind. At this point I’m pretty much going to have to double up and do two a day in order to make this work. BUT I think I can do it and I’m going to strive for it. If I can do it, then I’ll have a good foundation down for a secret project I’ve been working on and planning as these poems all had a purpose and a theme–they weren’t just random poems I was writing. Again, more later when I have more details and definites.

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