I started typing this and then realized that I wanted to mention some things other than just a bullet pointed list. (Though will probably be that as well.) So I deleted everything and am starting over.
Three years ago I moved to New Jersey. Three years ago I lost myself.
I moved and did the thing I swore I would NEVER do: I people pleased. Back in Indiana, despite living in a super conservative Christian home, I had started to explore the things that I love. Namely things regarding my spirituality and my sexuality. I was developing a very deep and living spiritual practice. I was writing lesbian stories and before I moved I even published one! I was well on my way to really finding who I was and the things that were important to me.
Then the move happened. Everyone in New Jersey is so wildly different than the people I knew back in Indiana, and my old childhood fear of being hated and shunned came roaring back. So instead of following my heart and keeping on with my practice(s) and explorations…I kind of just tried to fit in with what everyone here liked and did. Granted, I enjoy a lot of the same things they do…but instead of voicing my own opinions, likes and dislikes, and preferences…I just went with the flow. I didn’t try to carve out time in my new busy social life for focusing strictly on writing or my spiritual path. It kind of sucked.
Lately it has come to my attention that several people I know and hang out with regularly don’t feel like they know me well (despite some of them having known me for years). That’s troubling, but when reflecting, that makes sense. Sometimes I don’t feel like I know me! Rewind 6 or so months and you’ll remember that I said this was going to be the Year of Reclaiming. It’s going to be that year when I shed the things that don’t work for me, don’t fulfill me, or otherwise bring me joy and replace them with meaningful things.
Now that we are about halfway through the year, I’ve done some shedding (I’m no longer part of No Nostalgia Filter, for example. While I love the people involved in it and wish them all the best, focusing 90% of my free time to recording gaming videos didn’t line up with my ultimate dream: to be a full time author.), and now it’s time to do some growing. I had started trying to do this before, but because of some other things that had needed to be shed I couldn’t water them as much as I wanted. Now I feel like I can. So, without further adieu, that bullet pointed list:
–I started up Journey Through The Tarot over on Instagram again. The first picture of this was posted yesterday, and today I get to start the Minor Arcana series! I started learning the tarot before I moved here, and it was one of those things I put aside in order to fit into my new shiny life. Time to reclaim it!
–To help get my writing mojo back (because, other than bits and pieces here and there, I haven’t been writing much…sadly…very sadly) I’m working through The Artist’s Way. I’m on chapter 3 this week and so far I’m loving it. I feel like it is helping and it’s definitely helping me get some momentum back!
–Speaking of writing, I’m going back to work hard on The Selkie. That title is not going to remain the official title, it is just what I have for now. My goal is have this out in mid August. Right now we’ll say, tentatively, August 15th. It needs a lot of work though, so if I’m seriously going to meet that deadline then I need to really buckle down and get on it. Since I’m working on reclaiming me and my writer self especially this is kind of perfect. It’s also kind of perfect because everything I do lately is serving to point me in the direction of working on it, every experience I have gives me another thing that will benefit the book. So this is going to become my central writing focus. BUT…
–Going along with my Journey Through The Tarot, and the fact that I adore poetry, I’ve decided to write a book of Pagan poetry. Now this is not any kind of a priority, but I do have a loose outline for what kinds of poems I need to write and what sections I want to divide this into. I’ve decided to write one poem a day…at least for awhile. Just to help get some momentum going on this project. I’m not even going think about release dates yet, because it won’t be any time this year. This is a project of love, a thing I’m doing just because I’ve wanted to put out a book of poetry since I was about 15. That means it’s not going to be any kind of priority for a long time. (I will say though, the most awesome part of this project? I already know what photo I’m using as the cover! All I have to do is come up with a title and I can actually make the cover!)
–For years, ever since I started self publishing my work, I’ve wanted to write and release a story for Samhain (Halloween). I’ve never done it because I was always either too much in the thralls of writing another story, or I couldn’t come up with an idea that I liked enough to devote time to writing it. But yesterday I put on my thinking cap, came up with an idea, and started writing it. Now, I realize that my saying The Selkie will be out August 15, and I then plan to release the Halloween Story at the beginning of October seems like I’m setting myself up for failure, but that’s kind of my goal right now. With a little planning, and a lot of hard work, there really isn’t a reason why I can’t get both of these done and out. Especially given the amount of ideas churning in my head for both. So, that is my goal. The Selkie August 15, and this Halloween story somewhere in the beginning of October. Maybe I’m crazy…no, no I’m definitely crazy. But I’m going to make it happen.
–Pride post coming in the next few days!