Get Moving, Raven

I can identify the exact moment I stopped living. It wasn’t recent. It wasn’t even in the past decade. I don’t know exactly how old I was, but I know it was before I met my ex and we were together almost 11 years.

I was riding in my mom’s car when I realized that I 100% without any kind of doubt in my mind believed in reincarnation. [When I say reincarnation I mean that the soul doesn’t die when the body I’m currently living in does. It goes onto other lives. In what form it does this I still don’t know, and if you want to have that discussion we can do so. I’d happily welcome it as I love discussing stuff like that.] In that moment I felt like I had infinite time. And I stopped seeing a “deadline” so to speak. If my soul would always live, then whether or not I did something now or in three months didn’t matter…right? Teenage brain logic.

Skip ahead to now. Clearly that logic is very wrong. It isn’t really logic at all, actually. It was a teenager giving herself permission to continue procrastinating and, ultimately, not caring about much of anything. This was especially beneficial to me because I’d been bullied so much not just by my classmates but also by my dad and my late uncle. They’d tell me I was stupid, worthless, a piece of shit, would never amount to anything, etc. Hear it enough you start to believe it. If I would never amount to anything I didn’t have to care about trying to. I could put it off indefinitely. I didn’t have to confront the fear that they were right. I still had dreams, but because I had infinite time and I was worthless I could just put them off forever.

Obviously that this very wrong. But this has been part of my problem for years. Not feeling like there’s a finite deadline to anything. Because of it I lived in a shell, took my dear sweet molasses-fast time with everything, and ended up ruining my own life because of it. Not just my life. My ex’s, too. And in doing so I hurt a lot of people.

According to an article in Psychology Today “Because neurons that fire together wire together, creating behavioral grooves, all your ducking instead of doing has turned ducking into your thing. You have become predisposed to duck.” The solution is of course to just do the thing instead of ducking it. This is what I have to do. Rewire my brain to know that there is NOT infinite time for anything and GET MOVING basically.

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28 Days of Posting: Day 21: Things I Can’t Live Without

So, I want to say there are very few things that I can’t live without. I don’t like that I can be so materialistic. Though when I think of the things I want to list they aren’t all material, a few are consumable things. So, okay, what are things Raven needs in her life? He’s my Top 9 list, in no particular order.

1. Luna. I swear that cat is my sanity. For awhile I was having trouble being out of the house for more than five hours at a time. That’s the point when I’d start feeling low and wanting to break down crying. Coming back home and petting her helped restabilize me. I’ve considered trying to register her as a therapy cat once I find a therapist.

2. Coffee. Really, caffeine in general–Mountain Dew is the other caffeinated beverage that I’m in love with–but morning coffee gets me going. Even on days when I feel sluggish and sort of apathetic towards life, often times coffee will give me the jolt I need to at least get some things done.

3. Music. I can’t articulate enough how much therapy music gives me. Feeling sad? Find a sad song and sing a long. Feel angry? Find an angry song and belt it. Seriously. I’m not the best singer, and it’ll take awhile before I’ll do more than murmur lyrics around you, but singing along to songs has pulled me out of some really undesirable moods.

4. Video games. I’ve loved games since I was a kid. I played my first video game when I was like 5 years old and Mario Bros was released on the NES. The SNES is my favorite gaming platform, and I adore any retro style game. There have been periods in my life when I didn’t play many games, for various reasons. But you know what’s always been able to distract me from weird brain things. Games. Not even books can do that. I wish they could. But they aren’t interactive enough, and sometimes my mind just wanders. But with games you have to be present and be aware of what’s going on all the time. Otherwise you get your head handed to you.

5. Writing. Whether it be journaling, bullet journaling, or working on a book writing is like meditation to me. I get very “zen” and often times have deep personal revelations when I’m writing. Sometimes I have trouble understanding various situations, but if I journal about them or make my characters act it out I find that whatever had been escaping me comes into focus. Writing is literally how I make sense of the world.

6. My cell phone. This one makes a lot of people’s list, and for good reason. For me, it’s how I get around due to GPS and having recently moved to an unfamiliar neighborhood; it’s my music when I’m out and about; it has several games on it like Pokemon Go and Fire Emblem Heroes; it’s my camera. And of course it’s a phone, too, but who makes calls anymore? ;P

7. Nature. Whether it be a forest, the beach, or just some flowers in a vase. There is something about the natural world that is just relaxing to me.

8. Friends and family. Another thing that makes everyone’s list, but they are always worth mentioning. I really don’t know how I would have survived these past few months without my friends. They’ve picked me up and carried me forward, made sure I was eating and sent me cute cat pictures if they couldn’t just give me a hug, they’ve offered support and hang outs and visits. I really can’t say a big enough thank you to everyone who has been there for me and stuck by me.

9. Netflix and chill nights. No, I mean literally Netflix and relax with blankets and popcorn and chocolate and Mountain Dew and a good movie or show. Sometimes what you need most is just to curl up and watch things whether it be with friends, by yourself, or with your furry friend. Once I get done writing this post that’s how I plan to spend the rest of the night.


To see a list of the prompts, check out this post! And make sure to check out Kara at Boho Berry, especially if you like fountain pens or bullet journaling. She’s a huge inspiration~

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28 Days of Posting: Day 16: My Dream Job

Well, clearly I haven’t been doing the daily post thing like originally planned. That’s ok though. With everything I have going on, I’m kind of just expecting myself to do the best I can.

Anyway, today’s prompt is “my dream job” and…I don’t know what that would be if I’m totally honest. What I do know is that I enjoy telling stories, even if the motivation to actually sit down and put pen to paper–or fingers to keys–escapes me.

I also really enjoy taking photographs, whether it be landscapes or staged photos, there is something satisfying about capturing the perfect shot.

In recent months–the past year, really–I’ve also really discovered an enjoyment for drawing. I can’t really say I’d want to draw for a living, or even paint. I don’t know that I want to even try my hand at animation, though I tend to notice how things are drawn when I’m watching cartoons or anime. But I do enjoy doodling things.

I guess I would have to say my dream job would just be creating.


To see a list of the prompts, check out this post! And make sure to check out Kara at Boho Berry, especially if you like fountain pens or bullet journaling. She’s a huge inspiration~

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28 Days of Posting, Day 5: My Morning Routine

Routines are funny with me. For awhile I like them, and then I don’t. It’s like having something the same way too long gets to me and eventually I abandon it all together. However, given all of the turmoil that has been going on in my life I’ve been trying to at least get myself a small morning routine just to get myself up and going. Otherwise I wind up laying in bed until noon and wallowing in self pity.

Unless I have somewhere to be that day I tend to just let myself wake up naturally, and usually that happens between 8-9am. I’ll lay in bed for a moment and snuggle my kitten, but then up and out of the warm blankets I must get.

I’ll go to the bathroom and make myself a pot of coffee. Or if I’m having a particularly rough day and want to give myself a little pick me up I’ll go get Dunkin Donuts coffee, though I’m trying to break myself of the habit of getting coffee out.

Once I have my coffee I’ll do my daily Hearthstone quest. After that is complete I’ll do one of two things, depending on what’s going on in my mind:

-if I have a lot of thoughts swirling around I’ll put out my journal and do a bit of journaling. I’ll also plan out of my day, which just consists of making myself a to do list basically.

-if I’m not mired down with thoughts I’ll draw a tarot card, research it a bit, and then post in on Instagram.

Regardless of order, both of those things get done. Only on the really bad days do neither of them get accomplished. Thankfully the really bad days are coming fewer and farther between.

After this I will jump in the shower and then tackle my to do list.

It’s not a huge routine, but that’s okay. It’s something and it’s been helping me be productive and move forward which right now is all it really needs to do.


To see a list of the prompts, check out this post! And make sure to check out Kara at Boho Berry, especially if you like fountain pens or bullet journaling. She’s a huge inspiration~

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28 Days of Posting: Day 3: When I Was Young

There are many things that are true
About me when I was young

I knew, from a young age
That nature was greater than church
That my hymns were babbling brooks
And the songs that birds sang

I knew, from a young age
That stories were life’s building blocks
And every single creature,
Every blade of grass
Had a different story to tell
And I wanted to know them all

I knew, from a young age
That these things would shape me
When I grew up, big and tall
I didn’t know how
But I knew they were Important

Today Nature is my church
And I sing along with the birds
I spend my days buried in stories
Books, games, movies, talking with friends

Because some truths you learn at a young age

~ Raven Rose 2/2/18


To see a list of the prompts, check out this post! And make sure to check out Kara at Boho Berry, especially if you like fountain pens or bullet journaling. She’s a huge inspiration~

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28 Days of Posting, Day 2: What Makes Me Unique

Each and every one of us is unique. No one else on Earth has our exact combinations of traits, thoughts, idiosyncrasies, interests, etc. So kind of by virtue we are all unique. But what about me? What makes me different from the next Pagan or the next queer writer? Well, let’s see.

Honestly probably not much if I’m honest. I’ve always been an avid advocate about equality, even before I came to terms with my own sexuality. And even before I found Paganism I always knew Christianity (the religion I was raised in) wasn’t right for me. I was always drawn to the Earth and nature. Those are things that most queer people and Pagans will say. They always knew something was different.

I guess what makes me unique is my constant willingness to explore new places and things. My desire to experience as much as I can whenever I can. New foods, new photography techniques (I adore taking photos), new books, new movies, etc. Sure I like my tried and true comforts sometimes, but if you message me and say “hey, I want to go see or explore this new thing” I’ll grab my bag and meet you in half an hour.

I’m also a huge combination of opposites. I love both day and night. I can be a morning person and a night owl. I see both sides of the veg*n vs omnivore diet and have been each at different points in my life. I like old comforts, but also enjoy new things. I hate conflict, but love debates (and sometimes they get heated enough that they turn into arguments). I have trouble starting something, but once I do I find it hard to stop. I want to sit in my room and write all day, but I also want to spend every single moment out in the world. I want to be alone, but always talking to someone.

All of that plus all of the experiences I’ve had and all of the people I’ve met and that have influenced my life make me this unique person with a perspective that isn’t anyone else’s. It’s just mine. That’s what makes me unique.


To see a list of the prompts, check out this post! And make sure to check out Kara at Boho Berry, especially if you like fountain pens or bullet journaling. She’s a huge inspiration~

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28 Days of Posts, Day 1: Meaning of My Name

Welcome to my month of posting! As I said before, I’ve wanted to do this for awhile, but many things prevented me from actually diving in. Real talk: I’ll be honest, I’m actually writing some of these in February just to get a head start, and because I know that I will not feel like writing a blog post every single day right now. I’ve been going through some rough stuff, and my motivation to do much of anything has been very low…sometimes nonexistent.

But here we go with Day 1!

Names have always been an important thing to me. My given name is Renee, but…I’ve never really liked it. Even as a kid I didn’t like it and was always asking my mom to call me something else. I’m sure that hurt her feelings since she was the one that gave me the name, but in my five year old mind I didn’t think about that. Renee means “reborn” or “rebirth”. With how many times I’ve had to start completely over in my life, I’d say that it’s a meaning that fits, actually.


The name I’ve gone by for the past several years is Raven Rose (as you all know). Both came to me via spiritual means. Raven is a name that popped into my head when I very first started down the Pagan path, but…I didn’t immediately adopt it. I knew I’d go by it someday, but it didn’t feel right to do so when I was 16. Like it was something I had to grow into or earn somehow. Years later when I finally stopped ignoring all the signs Odin was giving me and finally paid attention is when it felt like the time had come. I’ve gone by it ever since. It’s been about 6-7 years now.

Ravens are associated with a lot. Of course Odin has two ravens–Hugin and Munin (Thought and Memory). But ravens are also associated with death and the underworld. Of course, this doesn’t always have to mean death in the literal sense. Like in the tarot, Death can simply signify a change or transformation that will occur. I can’t tell you how many changes and transformations I’ve been through in my life, and honestly just since adopting Raven as my name.

For awhile Raven was the only name I had, but I had started submitting pieces to be published, and knew that I wanted to publish under the name Raven. I never wanted to be a one name person like Cher or Madonna, so was trying to think of something that would feel as right for a surname. As I was about to hit submit on a piece, the name Rose popped into my mind and it just…fit.


Roses are a flower that, well first of all that I love–specifically the bright pink ones, and secondly that I highly associate with my patron Goddess, Brigid. Occasionally Freyja will pop into my life, and of course Roses are associated with Her as well.

In the language of flowers, Roses of course mean love and passion. Though they’ve also been a symbol of secrets or confidentiality.  In ancient Rome a rose was placed on the door to a room where confidential matters were being discussed. I can be a pretty private person, yet I’m also very passionate about certain things. So this is definitely an apt surname for me.


To see a list of the prompts, check out this post! And make sure to check out Kara at Boho Berry, especially if you like fountain pens or bullet journaling. She’s a huge inspiration~

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